What Not to Say When Giving a Talk

I was going to post this on Sunday, but...

Sunday was one of the most awkward sacrament meetings I've ever been in. We had three speakers, and between the three of them, I heard every single one of the following phrases:

• "I was asked to give a talk on..."
  
• "When the bishop called to ask me if I'd give a talk..."
  
• "I talk really fast when I get nervous, and I get really nervous when I give talks."
  
• "I basically wrote my talk this morning."
  
• "I wrote out my whole talk because I'm not a good speaker. Here it goes."
  
• "I hope my talk makes sense."

I could keep going with other examples that people say, but for the love, when you give a talk in church, just get up there and give your talk. We don't need a bunch of disclaimers or caveats. Really.