The Power of the Ward in Prose

I love my calling. And rumor has it that other people love my calling too. Basically I can write whatever I want about the ward, and it's becoming really fun.

But you know, I have to be tactful. Here's the list of things that I wish I could write about:

• Stop being insanely loud when you're in the hot tub and it's 12:30 am. And stop yelling in the stairwells. Mine is right next to me and I can't sleep when you're yelling. (Why is there so much yelling going on?)
  
• The guys in the ward should really start asking the girls out. The girls have been trying to promote social activities so you can get to know us. Don't blame the lack of dating on a lack of a ward directory. (Actually, I think I'll write about this one.)
  
• More specifically, ask me out; I'll probably say yes.
  
• My home teacher is cute.
  
• Seriously, there are some really awesome women in this ward.
  
• If you're engaged, don't talk about your engagement, especially when you are giving a sacrament meeting talk, a lesson in Sunday School, or bearing your testimony. We know you're grateful for the blessing that you found your significant other for eternity. It's just annoying to the rest of us.
  
• Also, don't say, "I know the rest of you will find your companions too." Ick.